I’ve never talked to anyone. I’m used to handling things on my own. Aren’t people who go to therapy weak?
Not at all. We all need people. We all go through hard times - some more than others for sure. It takes courage to reach out and be vulnerable. Everyone needs help now and then. In our work together, I’ll help you explore and identify your strengths, build new skills and resources, if needed and how to implement them to reduce the influence of the problems you are facing, solve problems, and hopefully heal old wounds.
What’s the difference between talking to you or my best friend or family?
Friends and family are awesome. It's my understanding that the word "loneliness" didn't show up in literature until the early 19th century when industrialization hit and we began moving away from generational communities and became increasingly disconnected. That said! Laregly, people don't have the robust support systems we once had. Friends and family are irreplaceable support. Therapists/counselors play a different role - they have training in listening in a specific way, understanding development, attachment, skills for communicating, healing from trauma, movign towards well-being. This may be a tall order for friends and family. Therapists are also outside of our situation, so more objective. A mental health professional can help you approach your situation in a new way– teach you new skills, gain different perspectives, listen to you without judgment or expectations, and help you listen to yourself. Furthermore, counseling is completely confidential. It's a place just for you to take what is helpful. You do not have to worry about taking care of the other person. It's both a weird part of the therapeutic relationship, and I think, a really helpful one. Therapists have capacity and are prepared to handle significantly painful, traumatic, difficult things. Friends and family may have less capacity. Sometimes we worry about over-burdening or wearing out our friends and family. Therapists/counselors are trained to be taking care of themselves to avoid burnout, practice what they preach, be able to hold whatever you need to share and help you move forward towards healing, not having to carry it alone or stay stuck in it. There are, obviously, lots of times to lean on friends and family. This is a place just for you.
Why shouldn’t I just take medication?
Okay, this is a big one I have been diving into. It is my professional and personal stance that psychiatric medications may have little actual benefit, but significant risks for both short term and long term neurological and/or physiological injury - such as increased and severe anxiety; depression; suicidal ideation; homicidal ideation; akithasia; sexual dysfunction; physical distress; difficulty focusing, and the list goes on. There has been a lot coming out lately around the lack of robust and honest safety and efficacy testing around psychiatric medications. They may be helpful for some people short term. It is the recommendation of this Clinician to do robust research before taking any psychiatric medication, and to avoid them at all costs for children and teens whose frontal lobes do not fully develop until sometime in their early 20s. If someone is already on one, do not stop immediately. Talk to someone who knows how to titrate slowly.
People are often prescribed medication after a 15 minute appointment with no plan to get off. Titrating off too quickly and cause significant damage and distress. Our brains are not meant to be medicated for years.
Modern counseling and psychiatry has tended to pathologize normal human emotion and experience. We need our emotions like we need our smoke detectors, gas lights in our cars, or Lassie telling us Timmy is in the well. Our emotions are God-given indicators of where attention is needed. If we mute those, those needs go unmet.
There is more to research in this area for sure. For the time being, this Clinician has become very cautious of psychiatric medication.
How does it work? What do I have to do in sessions?
Because each person has different issues and goals for counseling, it will be different depending on the individual. I tailor my therapeutic approach to your specific needs. In general, I help you tune into your self in new ways to feel more whole, integrated and connected. We can talk more about specifically how we do that.
How long will it take?
Unfortunately, this is not possible to say in a general FAQs page. Everyone’s circumstances are unique to them and the length of time counseling can take to allow you to accomplish your goals depends on your desire for personal development, your commitment, and the factors that are driving you to seek counseling in the first place.
I want to get the most out of therapy. What can I do to help?
I am so glad you are dedicated to getting the most out of your sessions. Your active participation and dedication will be crucial to your success. Giving me feedback about things that are not helpful is as valuable as letting me know what is helpful. I will ask, so you won't always have to just volunteer it, but there is an open invitation to let me know. Our having a strong therapeutic relationship and building trust will help you feel safe enough to address vulnerable stuff.